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Some Comfort For The Grieving-There's No Wrong Way to Do It

In the old days, following (or perhaps twisting) the advice of Sigmund Freud, there was a virtual commandment for people to ''process" their grief intensely, then ''let go" and, as soon as possible, ''move on."

But newer research has shown that there is no right way to grieve.

''The idea that grief is necessarily a debilitating experience is not true. We cope much better than our social expectations say we will," said psychologist George Bonanno of Columbia University Teachers College, who has shown that among a group of ''normal, everyday people," only about half will get depressed at any point during their grieving process.

This article, written by Judy Foreman, appeared in the January 9, 2005 publication of The Boston Globe.

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