I’m currently writing this from my couch in Toronto, surrounded by the very people, snacks, and “Tennis Channel” I spend most of my time in NYC missing. It’s a bit of a plot twist, considering my usual habitat is my apartment or Gottesman Library. Moving to NYC for grad school is the ultimate flex, until you’re sitting in a Health Psychology seminar and your phone lights up with a frantic text from mom asking if you can make a Canva document for her. Suddenly, the “independent academic” identity slips, and you’re right back to being the family’s unpaid graphic designer and IT consultant from 500 miles away.
Navigating a graduate degree at TC is a marathon, but staying connected to your roots is the secret to not running out of gas. Whenever the NYC hustle gets overwhelming, I find myself leaning into classic Drake energy (shoutout to my very close, personal friend) and reminding myself: Just hold on, we’re going home. Here is how I keep my connections strong without losing my mind in the process.
The 5 Minute Marathon
My dad’s favourite opening line is: “I just wanted to check in for five minutes.” After two decades, I have learned that this is actually code for a one-hour marathon into the Oscar nominations for “Best Questions.” The nominees are: Did you eat? How is school? How was your exam? The real struggle is when he asks for a play-by-play of the exam questions. I’ve discovered that the second I write my name down on the paper, my brain undergoes a factory reset. I don’t know the date, let alone what Question 2 was about. But honestly, these conversations and the Canva requests are my sanity check. Even when I’m yapping about nothing while power-walking home, those calls are what keep me grounded.
The Toronto “Emergency” Flight
Sometimes, FaceTime just doesn’t help, and the only solution is to hop on a flight back to the 6ix for some real food. But, a massive pro-tip for my fellow international students: check your OISS travel signature first. If you don’t have that I-20 signed and ready, your “emergency” will turn into a permanent vacation. You’ll be standing at the airport watching everyone else live out their NYC dreams, while you realize you're about to take my job and write a blog post titled “How to Stay Connected to Grad School While You’re Stuck in Your Childhood Bedroom Because of a Paperwork Error.” Get the signature!
National News from Michigan
Staying connected isn’t just about my hometown; it’s about getting recruited into the daily drama of other states, too, simply because you’ve been unknowingly adopted into them. I’ll be deep into my work and suddenly get a “Reporting live from Michigan: High Winds.” Apparently, the wind was so bad recently that it actually knocked down a basketball net. With that out of the way, I would like to announce with a heavy heart that I officially won’t be a NBA WAG, because if the hoop isn’t standing, the dream is over. These are low-stakes tragedies that make the world feel smaller when you’re stuck in the NYC grind.
The Main Character vs Reality
There is a very specific type of exhaustion that comes with maintaining your digital “New York” persona. On Instagram, I’m posting aesthetic sunsets and days-in-the-life. But the people back home see through that. Staying connected means I can’t just post the “Day In The Life”; I have to send the unedited “behind the scenes” photos of me eating pasta for the second day in a row while buried in annotated bibliographies. It’s a relief to have people who don’t need the aesthetic version of my life, the ones who know that for every sunset photo, there were ten hours of me looking like a stressed-out graduate student, drinking GSLD coffee, wearing a hoodie.
The Toronto Accent
Finally, nothing makes me miss home faster than hearing people in NYC attempt a Toronto accent. They really think they’re doing something, but the execution deserves its own horror movie. Hearing a New Yorker try to say “reach” or “mans” with a straight face is so painful that it’s usually the final push I need to book my next flight. It’s a reminder that while I love my TC community, some things, like a true Toronto accent, just can’t be replicated.
At the end of the day, grad school is a solo journey, but you don’t have to do it in a vacuum. It takes intentionality, a lot of phone battery, and the ability to mourn a fallen basketball hoop in Michigan like it’s national news. These bridges back home are what keep you steady when the 120th Street grind gets a little too loud. So, stay on top of your travel signatures, keep the group chat messy, and remember that being “the family Canva expert” is just as important as being a grad student. Growing in New York is the goal, but it’s the people back home who make sure you don’t lose yourself in the process. Now, time to log off, my mom is hovering with another design project, and there’s a plate of home-cooked food calling my name. Toronto, it’s good to be back.